I realise that since August I have vanished off the face of the earth and I apologise for that. I could make 101 excuses but the reality is that I simply lost my mojo… I had plenty of time. In fact probably too much! The fact that typing is so much tougher added to lots of other Real Life battles for all sorts of things meant that my attention was diverted elsewhere and the longer I went without posting the harder it has been to come back to it…
The ‘Me’ that I was this time last year is well and truly gone.. For better or for worse! The reality being that her disappearance is probably for the better in so so many ways; but it is hard to deal with the fact that my life has changed so much especially given why. I continue to attend psychology services within the hospital and find it very beneficial. I think it will be the service I cling onto for the longest if I am given a choice! Its only when I try to live ‘normal’ life that it really dawns on me that 2014 has been so flippin’ abnormal!! I am still ‘stroke girl’ in so many contexts although that is gradually lessening… Or I’m getting used to the whispers and the stares and notice them less!
I don’t need surgery – at least not yet! I will be re-assessed in March 2015 but the longer I go without any further issues the more hopeful it looks.
I had my first (and final) review with the National Rehabilitation Hospital and they don’t feel that I need to continue to be reviewed by them. I’m guessing the ongoing reviews by Beaumont are enough! My next review with the stroke specialist in Beaumont is May 2015 and I’m not back with the neurosurgeon until March 2015 so appointments are less frequent. As I said above I am still attending Psychology and I am was attending for Physiotherapy up until today but have now been discharged from that too. .
Outside of stroke stuff my health is pretty crappy at the moment! I’m picking up every bug going. I feel like 13 weeks of sterile environments has totally stripped my immunity!
I have achieved my 1.5 stone loss with Slimming World but since then I have kind of stagnated a bit! I need to get a proper kick up the proverbial and focus again.
Overall, since I was hospitalised I have lost just over 3 stone (#dayzeroproject target achieved), my BMI has dropped by 10 and I am so much healthier than I have been at any stage in my adult life! The irony of that is by no means lost on me!
I am back to work… That was a real struggle and both getting back and being back have been tough emotionally! I’m on reduced days and what duties I do are very limited. It can be tough in that every day I see my workmates doing ‘my’ work and the reality is that I know I wouldn’t be able to take it all back on even if I was doing full time hours! I’m having to face up to the fact that I may never get back to that and it also forces me to examine whether I would really want to… I foresee changes!
I have also found myself with a very lovely gentleman in my life for the first time in a *very* long time… But not everything in my life is for the blog!
I just spent a very lovely weekend in Paris with my family. Another #dayzeroproject achievement.
In terms of the blog I want to thank those of you who have stuck with me… Readers and PRs alike. It is very much appreciated. I have a few posts planned and will try to post more regularly but I make no promises… I feel if I try to force posts the quality will suffer so I will blog as mojo allows… Hopefully the festive season and impending New Year will encourage me in that!