As you may have noticed over the past month I haven’t really posted despite having signed up to do #BEDN. I didn’t want to just come back and post as if I had never been away and to be honest that wasn’t really an option anyway. I knew I needed to do this post and yet, I didn’t want to do it, so my absence was prolonged.
Basically, one month ago today, on 3rd November 2013 my family got a call that no family wants to receive. My beautiful 35 year old cousin had been found dead having taken his own life. You frequently hear people say if a child dies or a baby is stillborn that they are “not for this world”. I firmly believe that Neil was one of these people. He just happened to make it into adulthood despite this world but it inevitably became too much for him.
Neil was always a very gentle soul and this world was just too tough for him. He hated the hurt that people perpetrate on each other. He just couldn’t get his head around it as he would never have hurt anyone intentionally and if he did someone a wrong it would play on his mind until he could put things right. He had a great smile and an infectious laugh. One which almost got me in trouble at our grandfathers funeral when he found the whole thing a bit bizarre and got a fit of the giggles. Cue both of us bursting out laughing and people thinking we (more appropriately) were overcome with emotion and trying to comfort us.
I spent a lot of my time in Australia in summer 2001 with Neil and this photo holds very precious memories for me. It was my first time to see a real orange or lemon tree and I insisted that he stop to let me out to get a photo. He ended up slagging me every time we saw one after that – which was about every 20 yards!
So that is what has been going on for me. I just couldn’t bring myself to blog about frivolous things over the last while and I am still trying to get my head around everything so blogging may continue to be a little sporadic over the next while. I hope ye can understand. If you do have any requests for posts please let me know though as I could do with some inspiration to get me back on track!